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Site by Ian Coburn Latest News
Soon to be in Russian! (deal signed with Russian publisher 12/07) Ian's now an expert for Lifetime "Best book I've read" - Amazon review "Hilarious!" - Amazon review "Funniest book I've read" - Amazon review "Best book to meet women" - Amazon review "Best advice for women" - Amazon review "Best dating advice out there" - Amazon review "Refreshing and enlightening" - Amazon review
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A Few Brief Excerpts God is a woman. No discussion, no debate, no denial. She’s a woman. That people challenge this notion is ridiculous. The proof is all around. If God were a man, He’d be the only one. There would not be another man anywhere. The entire planet would be full of no one but beautiful women. Blondes, brunettes, green eyes, brown eyes, big breasts, medium breasts (no small breasts), full rotund butts, small tight asses; whatever was needed to fulfill His passing fancy. And none of them would have names; that way He wouldn’t have to worry about forgetting them. If God were a man, there would be no STD’s and women wouldn’t get pregnant. -- Page 1 Being thirty-three and still getting pimples is ridiculous. It’s embarrassing buying zit cream at my age. I don’t even do it anymore. Instead, I hang outside convenience stores and approach teenagers, “Hey, kids, I’ll buy you a bottle of Jacks and a Playboy if you go inside and get me some Oxy.” -- Page 131 Somebody once said, “Tomorrow is another day,” and it became a famous quote. Bullshit. Tomorrow is not another day. Tomorrow is today’s backup plan. -- Page 155 Joan Cusack wants to set me up on a blind date. She read one of my scripts, liked it a lot (actually, the comments she allowed me to quote helped get me signed with my manager), we’ve talked a few times, and she thinks I would hit it off well with one of her young artist friends. A lot of guys shy away from blind dates. They don’t want to waste their time with a woman they haven’t seen. And women say men are shallow. -- Page 161 Confident women don’t need such an ego boost. They don’t care to talk to a guy who is so obviously on the prowl. This explains why confident beautiful women, referred to by some as “tens” (I’m not into the whole numbering system), sometimes date physically less-than-flattering guys. They know they are stunning and they have nothing to prove, so they don’t have the trixie competitive nature. They don’t need other women to be jealous of them in order to feel complete. Instead, they can simply go out with whomever they wish, as in the case of Nikki Cox and Bobcat Goldthwait. -- Page 188 Cab drivers probably make their most money picking up a couple headed for a one-night stand. I gave him twenty dollars for an eight-dollar ride and we got out of the cab. A guy on the verge of getting lucky doesn’t want to wait for change. That’s just more time for the woman to change her mind. -- Page 191 Normally I prefer brunettes with medium-sized breasts, but I was willing to bite the bullet and settle for a blonde with big breasts. I should get a Humanitarian Award. -- Page 250 Foreplay is more time for women to change their minds or sober up. -- Page 266
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Copyright by Ian Coburn 07 Available wherever books are sold
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